Jennifer Aniston’s Entertainment Weekly Interview

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I love Jennifer Aniston.  You already know that by now and if you don’t just do a search for her on this blog and you’ll come across the various reasons why.  She recently did a very open, honest and potty-mouthed (loves it!) interview with Entertainment Weekly as part of the media blitz for her upcoming flick Marley & Me.  You can read the whole article here.  If you’re lazy, I’ve taken the liberty to pull out a few choice quotes for you.

  • On all the pregnancy rumors: ‘Oh, my God, it’s hysterical!” she says, throwing up her hands. ”You can’t do anything without it going to some extreme. It’s almost going to take away the fun from actually being able to say one day, ‘I’m pregnant!’ Everyone will be like, ‘Yeah, right.’ It’s the boy who cried wolf. Stop stealing my thunder, motherf—ers!”
  • On her failed marriage: ”It’s Luke and Laura. But if you strip away all of the glitz and the glamour and the headlines — the shock and awe of it — it’s just people living their life. S— happens, and it’s as normal as any other human being if you take away the headlines. It’s just not as interesting without the headlines.”
  • On a negative article in the New York Times: ”It was like, who f—ing s— in her Wheaties? How do these people get the opportunity to just spew s—? They don’t know anything. You know, career choices — you just do what you do. Not everyone’s a winner. Not every episode of Friends was great. Not every guy you choose is great. Just across the board, there’s so much expectation.”

I love that she curses.  She just seems so fun.  The kind of girl you can do a couple of tequila shots with then go outside and smoke a cigarette while talking about all the stupid b!tches and pricks we know.  Good times.

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Daily Dish

Does anyone else watch The Bachelor?  I started watching it a couple of years ago and I’m still not sure why.  I’m partly fascinated by the girls and what they say their ages are.  Most of my girlfriends are drunken sluts who smoke and we all look younger than those girls.  Even with all the makeup and stage lighting most of them look like they were rode hard and put away wet.  Anyway, I digress.  In a surprising change of form, one of the “couples” who broke up after the final show actually got back together.  2005 Bachelor Charlie O’Connell and Sarah Brice are back together.  They were spotted walking their dogs together in LA.  Can I get a collective “Aww”?  Oh, and on another note…I hear that the producers always have a little trouble getting girls for the show because there is a “no herpes” clause and most people have it.  I wonder if they have a “no crabs” rule for those VH1 dating shows?

Speaking of which – Pumkin aka Brooke Thompson is engaged to some security dude.  Kinda gives all of us dirty skanks a little hope in our cold, black hearts.

The Chicago Sun-Times is reporting that Brad Pitt called Jennifer Aniston because he wasn’t pleased about the Vogue article.  If this is true, WTF?  Seriously, it’s like when my ex gets mad that I publicly call the girl he “had a close friendship” with before we broke up (and started “f-ing” nearly immediately after we broke up) a muppet horsey faced b!tch.  It’s the right of the slighted woman to talk a little sh!t.  It’s all part of the fun.

There’s other news but all this talk of herpes and ex-boyfriends makes me want a drink.  Yay, happy hour.  Here’s a very brief synopsis of the rest:

  • Sandra Bullock‘s stalker got convicted.  B!tch was crazy and tried to run down Sandy’s husband and used to lay palm fronds with dead animal skins on her lawn.
  • Lindsay Lohan‘s ex-bf showed up at her lady friend’s gig last night.
  • Kanye West is angry again about some award show because they gave him and Britney Spears an award.
  • PETA is pissed off at the Olsen‘s for wearing fur.  Here! Here!
  • The pregnant guy is pregnant again.  Maybe he had an identity crisis?  He was just a dude after he gave birth.

Jennifer Aniston ‘Vogue’ Interview

After a day of leaked quotes from Jennifer Aniston’s ‘Vogue’ interview, the full text is now available online here.

Highlights of the article include:

  • A very good review of Jennifer and Owen Wilson in Marley & Me.  (Sidenote: the end of that book had me bawling at 9:00am in Union Square in front of a bunch of construction workers.)
  • When the interviewer asks her about children she says (visibly irritated according to the author) “I’ve said it so many times: I’m going to have children. I just know it.”
  • GASP!  Jennifer doesn’t like Sex & The City – “I never liked Sex and the City, the kind of thing where women only feel empowered once they find the Man.”
  • In response to John “horseyc*ck” Mayer and his public reaction after their last break-up – “Trust me, you’ll never see that happen again from that man. And it doesn’t take away from the fact that he is a wonderful guy. We care about each other. It’s funny when you hit a place in a relationship and you both realize, We maybe need to do something else, but you still really, really love each other. It’s painful. There was no malicious intent. I deeply, deeply care about him; we talk, we adore one another. And that’s where it is.”

I dunno.  Overall it was kind of a snoozer of an article.  I enjoyed it but I’m a big fan.  The pictures with the article are kinda boring, too.

Daily Dish

The big story of the day is Jennifer Aniston and, surprisingly, it has nothing to do with her horseyc*cked lover.  In an interview with Vogue magazine, JenAn publicly commented (for one of the first times, I think) on the whole Brangelina sitch.  She is quoted as saying:

“What Angelina did was very uncool.  There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening. I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss. That stuff about how she couldn’t wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool.”

Good for her.  It was uncool.  ‘Nuff said.  Way to keep it classy, Aniston.  She really could have thrown the punches but I think this is a good way to comment on the whole situation.  If she was more passionate or mean spirited in her response people would really rip her to shreds.  Now let’s wait and see if Zeus throws a thunderbolt at her house for daring to speak out against the woman that stole her husband…oh wait, I mean the wonderous and mighty Angelina.

Whoops!  I spoke to soon.  As I was writing this, Dlisted just added another quote from her interview and it is about horseyc*ck.

People need to mind their own business! Did you ever think Claudia Schiffer and David Copperfield made sense? Love just shows up.”

Exactly!  Love just shows up…at the base of a 10 inch c*ck.

The NY Daily News is reporting that Juliette Lewis totally passed on an opportunity to hit it with my 2nd favorite dirty british boy, Ed Westwick, at a Killers concert in NYC.  Apparently, he was trying to chat her up and she responded with “Who is this guy?”.  WHAT!?!  Has the Scientology started to rot out her vagina along with her brain?  It wouldn’t matter if he’s the drunk dude who hangs out on my stoop, he’s hot.  Seriously, if that drunk dude looked like Ed Westwick, I would totally take him up on the various offers he routinely makes me.  Oh, Juliette, how I used to love thee.

Oh a lighter note, little Jayden James Federline is out of the hospital.  And, because Britney is a genius, she celebrated by taking him to a gator farm.

If you’ve got a hot second to kill, check out the Robert Pattinson drunk pictures on TMZ.  My personal fave is photo 2.  He’s got a nice tongue. Oh, and you’re welcome.

Daily Dish

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Britney Spears did show up at Madonna’s concert last night and sand a little bit of Human Nature with her. Everybody thinks this is super exciting news but I gotta say I’m not too thrilled by it. First, while Britney did wash her hair and had makeup on, she didn’t look all that. Notice how Madonna’s people put her in an outfit that makes her look like a 170 pound school marm. Second, I’m convinced Madonna drinks the blood of younger stars to maintain her fame and relevance. (Has anyone seen that chicks arm veins? That ain’t right.) Did anyone notice how everything sort of went downhill for Britney after Me Against the Music? Just aksin….

And the winner of the latest most ridiculous Jennifer Aniston rumor award goes to Star Magazine. The rag is reporting that JenAn has been having secret fertility treatments to get pregnant with her horsec*ck, I mean, John Mayer. But, wait, it doesn’t end there. I’ve bulleted all the rumors in their one story so you can keep track

  • JenAn has proposed to John Mayer
  • John Mayer has ordered pregnancy and parenting books
  • JenAn froze her eggs in case she was single at 40
  • JenAn’s been having alternative medicine treatments to improve fertility
  • JenAn is obsessed with having twins and is eating milk and beef to increase her chances

Phew…that was a lot for one little story. I wonder if US Weekly outsold them last week and they are trying to increase circulation?

It’s a slow news day y’all and I’ve actually got some work to do.  Surprise, surprise.

Daily Dish

Star Magazine is reporting that Angelina is getting jealous because Brad has been spending a lot of time with his ‘Inglorious Bastard” costar Diane Kruger (who was also in “Troy” with him).  Apparently she whispered in his ear or something at a dinner.  While I do believe you need to be careful about stealing a man from another woman because it’s a karmic rule that he’ll then get stolen from you but, I do not believe this.  There needs to be more proof.  I think whispering is really rude but sometimes you have to do it, especially at dinner.  She could have been asking for a tampon, talking about needing to make a major #2 or politely asking him to stop talking about his children (because breeders always want to talk about diapers and spelling tests).  Oh, and of course this gives the gossip world another opportunity to talk about poor, poor Jennifer Aniston.  PLEASE, she doesn’t care because she’s got John Mayer’s titanic peen at home.

Speaking of Jennifer Aniston, Star Magazine is also reporting (on the same cover as the Brangelina story) that Jen has hired a wedding planner.  Again, I call BS.  Ooh, I just remembered one of the first things that ever made me like her – back in an interview she did when she first starting losing weight on “Friends” she said that one of her favorite foods pre-weight loss was white toast with mayonnaise.  Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it because that sh!t is good.

Just Jared is reporting a rumor that Britney is going to host Saturday Night Live on November 22nd.  This would be my wet dream.  She’s always been so good on SNL.  Party at my house if it’s true!

Joaquin Phoenix announced his retirement from films.  He’s going to be focusing on his music career.

Daily Dish

Daily Celeb Round Up

So I was totally MIA this weekend so this will be more of a weekend celeb round up.

Danity Kane is now down to two members.  A radio station here in NYC is reporting that Shannon quit the group.  If you’ll recall I told you this group would be nothing with out their skank-in-residence Aubrey O’Day.  Diddy really jacked this one up because they were finally getting popular.  Damaged is still my jam.  What the hell are they gonna do with the two that are left?  I don’t even know their names.  I guess they did need a reason to have a Making the Band 5.  Team Aubrey!

In other Aubrey news, Page Six reported that her and Kanye West were swapping spit at some club.  I know people think he walks on water, but I think Kanye’s a douche.  Someone probably told Aubrey she needed to douche and she got confused and made out with Kanye instead.

Congrats to Amy Poehler and Will Arnett on their new son, Archie!!!  Amy popped on Saturday.  Such a fitting name for their kid.

Amy Winehouse reportedly went to rehab on Saturday to get out of being questioned by police about one of the times she beat someone up.  She’s hit so many people on so many occasions, I don’t think it matters which time they were asking about.  Let’s hope she actually stays in rehab for a while but something tells me she’ll be out by the end of the week.  UPDATE: While I was writing this, her spokespeople came out to say she’s actually in the hospital for some chest issues.  Geez, I wonder if she stopped freebasing, then maybe her chest problems might clear up?

Kirsten Dunst and Justin Long (the mac guy) are still an item.  Perez reported that were seen out and about in NYC this week.  Not that this is terribly exciting gossip or anything, I just wanted to take a moment to let you guys know that I actually like her.  She’s another one of those celebs that all the gossip bloggers love to hate.  Actually, she annoys most people but I have her back.  I don’t really understand why people hate on her so much.  She’s done some really good work as an actress (Hello!  Does anyone remember Drop Dead Gorgeous?) and I think she’s better than most of the other no talent hos out there.  Plus, I think her snaggletooth is kinda cute.  That’s all.  Had to throw that out there.  What do you guys think about her?

There are two new Jennifer Aniston rumors out there.  Seriously, LEAVE THE DAMN GIRL AND HER BIG C*CKED BOYTOY ALONE.  Anyway, rumor #1 is that she’s drop John “horsec*ck” Mayer and started doing the deed with Gerard Butler.  This is all based on her having dinner with Gerard so I call BS on this.  Although, I would fully support her on that endeavor.  Rumor #2 is that the only reason she took the dick back was because he agreed to marry her.  I call BS on this one, too.

Finally, let’s all take a moment to send some positive thoughts and prayers to Jennifer Hudson and her family.  In case you didn’t hear, her mother, brother and nephew were murdered this weekend.  This is truly horrible.