Daily Celeb Round Up
David Duchovny has been having an affair with his 28 year old tennis instructor. She all but confirmed it in an interview with the Daily Mail. What a stupid, stupid biznatch! I’m sorry, but if I was banging Fox Mulder, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to talk about it with the media. That pretty much guarantees that he is never going to go near her snatch again. Oh, and there are pictures of her and she is certainly not cute enough to be throwing away opportunities like this. I suppose I’m a little sensitive about someone squandering a chance to do the nasty with David Duchovny because he was my pretend boyfriend for about three years in high school. (I was a band nerd who only dated men who later went on to date other men…except the one who became a woman but we’ll save that for another post.) UPDATE: E! Online is reporting that the Daily Mail story is false. Duchovny’s lawyer told E! that he has a signed declaration under penalty of perjury where the tennis instructor states she did not ride the peen.
Get ready for another example of the media’s unfair treatment of my girl Jennifer Aniston. The broke down Australian version of US Weekly (it’s called NW) is reporting that the only reason Jennifer Aniston got back with John Mayer is because she’s pregnant. First of all, if this was true, this would be HUGE news and the source would be able to sell it somewhere in the western hemisphere where it would actually get read by people other than the gossip obsessed folks like me. Secondly, if she is pregnant we have to remember she’s richer than god and doesn’t need to take a man back because of it. I still firmly stand by my belief that she took him back cause he is a stallion in the sheets with a stallion sized c*ck. For the detractors out there, I still challenge you to send me those stories of her being an awful person to work with.
To my reader’s in Florida: BEWARE! Nick Hogan gets out of jail tomorrow. I’m sure his license is suspended but based on the genius track record of that family, I would still watch my back on the roads.